life unfolds as is, in every moment

It’s funny how we talk ourselves into being a certain way that we actually believe it and more so have a hard time trying to break it a part from truth or not. It’s interesting how adaptive our minds can be, so naturally. I’ve realized that there are parts of me in my personal life that I don’t show at all to the outer world. And to the world, I’m accomplished, put together..talented. And maybe I am both. Maybe I have sides of me that work to help me navigate through experiences and people…and other sides of me that serve in other ways emotionally.

Why does this matter to me? I question what I’m doing for a living. What does success look like for me? I don’t know it’s about getting to the next position..or surpassing my peers. When I do things, I find that I am less motivated to finish it when I’m compared or working against someone on it. Instead, I like to master my own skills in it. To know that I can do something like that without training/knowledge/preparation beforehand is enough. Will I be happy pushing through tasks year over year, time over time? Is that all I’m doing?

I would like to think that I can make a valuable impact in this life with the time I am given. Does that mean what I think it means? I am trying to remember how I got here in the first place.